Our Life of Crime on Shady Avenue Ext. part 2

The Mad Scientists

It's natural for children to be curious. Children want to know things and ask lots of questions such as: why is the sky blue, how are babies made, why is the grass green, why do cats have claws. Parents get tired of answering children's questions but good parents know that curiosity is the hallmark of intelligence.

Operating under strict rules regarding television watching, being shoved outdoors to fill our hours with play, combined with owning very few toys--these factors opened the doors to curiosity big and wide. Not only were we playwrights, ecologists, store-owners, parents of imaginary children, athletes, and farmers; we were scientists. We were curious about what happened when you mixed something with something else.

I wrote once about the ubiquitous plantain weed, how the single, seed-bearing stalk rose up from a three-leaved base, and if you grabbed one of these stalks at its base the seeds detached easily. These seeds were used in games of "store" and "farmer" and "families." Our mothers kept empty mayonnaise jars for us so we could save these seeds. However, we used these large glass jars for something else. We, the three of us, would watch and wait; when one of our mothers was busy and occupied or not at home for a brief time (this didn't happen often) we took one of the empty mayonnaise jars and made a quick, feverish trip around the kitchen, putting into the jar a small amount of anything we could find: salt, sugar, cornstarch, milk, Coke, bleach, baking soda, cornflakes, dish detergent, flour, maple syrup. Then we mixed it up together JUST TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. There was even some discussion of tasting it but that didn't get very far.

Arlene's house was the best for this. Arlene's mother would leave the house sometimes if Mackie, Arlene's older sister, was at home. But since Mackie was a teenager and always on the phone, we had a free hand in the kitchen.

One day our experiments ended dramatically, the same as our pyromania. We added bleach to ammonia and what happened wasn't exactly an explosion. The mayonnaise jar filled up with a white, cloudy foam and this foam expanded and began to cover the kitchen counter where we were "working." Screaming, we dumped the contents of the jar into the sink and ran water until the expanding mess was gone. Fortunately for us nobody ever discovered these activities and nobody got hurt. But I must admit that I'm proud of the child I was, and I was proud of my friends as well. We had what I've begun to refer to as a "real childhood."