Kol Nidre and the Dramatic Ending of the Days of Awe

At dusk, all over the world, many Jewish people will be congregating to--not celebrate--
this is the most holy night and day in the Jewish calendar--commemorate Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Well, the writer in me isn't quite satisfied with commemorate but it will have to serve. Kol Nidre means "all vows."

A lot of us have been instructed as children to look within ourselves in the next 24 hours and search for character flaws, broken promises, goals we set for ourselves we didn't work hard enough to reach. It is also a day of fasting. There were minor days of fasting, according to Orthodox Judaism, between Rosh Hashanah and now but more Jews fast on Yom Kippur than on any other day.

Look at the picture on the side of my blog. It's a painting of Jewish men praying on Yom Kippur, full of sadness and self-reproach. The ladies are sitting in the gallery, behind the men. When I was young I often went to Poale Zedeck in Squirrel Hill--the Orthodox synagogue my grandparents attended-- along with Naomi Nudelman's family. Naomi was my best friend. Sometimes I went up to the women's gallery. Being separated from what the rabbi and the men were saying made it difficult to understand anything. So the girls and women would begin to chat among themselves, the sounds of their voices steadily growing in volume. Then the rabbi would give an angry look to the women's section and shout: "Women--quiet!" Now this made me angry when I was a young girl. If we were not going to be included in what was going on, the least they could do would be to let us gossip a little.

But I'm not angry at the rabbi, the men, or Orthodox Judaism anymore. I love all of my faith and I like to give it the respect it deserves.

I've written a lot about my grandfather who was fiery in nature and who loved our faith more deeply than anyone I've known. So I guess using the word "commemorate" isn't too wide of the mark; on Erev Yom Kippur (tonight, when Yom Kippur begins) I'm going to think about him, and what he loved, and whom.

The term "Days of Awe--" these days between the Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement--always makes my heart quiet and thoughtful. What does it mean, "Days of Awe?" I think it means to open our souls and feel the overwhelming connection between the Jewish people and their God and their history of survival.

As is said often among Jewish people at this time: "May you be inscribed in the book of life."